New pic is up, I admittedly did not do a lot of editing on it. If it looks a little strange and out of place it's because this is a photobomb. I had to blog this face skin for Little Foxy Beauty and someone jumped in. This was like 20 takes deep and was like fuck it, what's another 20 more? I did a collab earlier with the full new look I made for my avi but had to strip it all off just to showcase the skin. Trying to get more creative with raw skin pics which is also why the editing is so light. Can't be overediting the product when it's a face skin like that. First attempt at bokeh or brokeh not sure which it's actually called rip. Was fun and quick to edit and hopefully it does as well as I think it should.
I'm gonna reserve diary comments today for this one. It's a rollercoaster of emotion for me still ups and downs and all over the place. Ultimately I had a good day that day when this was taken and then the next day was straight back to emotional hell. The day before this was taken was also an emotional fucking hell. I'm going through dizzy spells and nausea which I can only attribute to being so stressed and unhappy with things. I don't like the way things are, I don't have a lot of hope for where they're going. At this time I'm electing to stay alone, avoid everyone, avoid intimacy. The only person I'll be fucking anytime soon is myself and I think that's for the best. Need to figure out what ti is I want and why. Need to figure out why I'm throwing so much into something that gives nothing back. Need to see a therapist probably or write another few poems for my ex not to read. My love letter picture was amazing and more so than that it was kinda about someone and I told them it was going to be and they still didn't bother reading it. I'm tired of being the badguy for having feelings or wanting things and I'm about ready to give up and disappear for good.
In another note Seka fired me (and everyone else) to do another blogo search which is cool. I'm not gonna apply, I don't need girl stuff so much as I need unisex or guy stuff. Would help me do less collabs if I could wear my own things and as hot as I am as a girl I really want to show off my male and guy pics cuz that's what I identify as.